Single Belle

…did he just laugh at me?

Chris then repeated himself, “I mean, am I wrong here? I’m not very handsome. It is not the easiest thing to get a girl attracted to me, and therefore I’m single. Understandable. But you, you are this va-va-voom lady … and you’re single. Something is so wrong!” He laughed hard again. I laughed with him though in my mind I had shot him three times already.

Other time is when I was at a party. I just arrived and this girl greeted me, “Hey Kittyyyy… Who are you coming with?” And I was like, “I’m alone!” Had a little chit-chat with her before I went on to grab a drink. Bumped into another girl, “Oh heyyy Kittyyyy, Alone tonight?” I replied, “Yep. Riding solo!” She then changed the subject. Smart enough.

My people (by ‘my people’ I mean random friends or even relatives), are so used to getting answers to their ‘who-are-you-coming-with’ questions. When I don’t have an answer to that, sometimes they make a big deal out of it. It may get annoying at times. Come on now. It’s only been a year and it’s not like I don’t go out with a guy here or there sometimes. I’m just not committed to any of them because at this time of my life, I need to find someone who is worth it. This time is actually the longest that I’m not committed to anyone. Before, for almost six years in a row, I did not give my heart a break. My philosophy at the time was: There’s an ‘ex’ in every ‘Next’.

After the last relationship that I had and as I get more mature, I am looking for a quality in a guy rather than having a man for a social status. Frankly, now that I’m single, I have actually never been happier. My life feels so content. This time allows me to see things clearer, get to learn about God (who I love so much), and have time to think of what it is in a man that I’m looking for. This is a great time of my life.

Perhaps because of my personal background, some things never change: I always love musicians and a guy who is hardworking. I’m not into lazy-asses.

I know that nobody’s perfect. Not you, not me. However, I do believe that when it comes to finding the right man, every woman must have a good standard, just because we’re worth it. I’m a conventional woman in an urban package, so I don’t believe that a woman should fight for a man. Get it straight. I’m the one to fight for.

“I am the rose of Sharon, the lily of the valley.” – a Shulamite woman to King Solomon

A couple of weeks ago after the church’s service, I accidentally ‘trapped’ in a conversation between my pastor and this woman who had questions about her singleness. Why oh why did I have to sit between them, I don’t know. All I know is out of politeness, the pastor just naturally included me in the conversation. Maybe so that I don’t have to look like Ronald McDonald’s statue that just sits there in a bench in front of McDonald’s. Thanks pastor. God bless your beautiful soul.

Anyway, he told us this, “Sometimes women are too busy seeking for the right man everywhere, to realize that right one is just in front of them.” I looked at the guy who sat in front of me, and thought to myself, “Hell no.”

“He brings me to the banquet hall and everyone can see how much he loves me.” – a Shulamite woman about King Solomon.

So to Chris, the two girls at the party, and my busy relatives,

Chill out. You will see him coming with me. Eventually.

Xo,

Kitty Sitompul